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Laurie-Ann, a best-selling author and host of the Be In Demand podcast, shares how she went from being painfully shy to mastering and teaching public speaking.
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Laurie-Ann explains her unique approach, combining neuroscience with practical strategies to help coaches and consultants give powerful presentations.
She talks about how challenging herself to make eye contact was a small but life-changing step in overcoming shyness and growing both personally and professionally. Learn useful tips to build confidence, establish credibility, and keep an audience engaged.
Watch the next episode on YouTube, “Speaking Tips to Become the “Go To” Person in Your Niche Featuring Laurie-Ann Murabito“
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Speaker 1:
Welcome back to the Art of Online Business podcast, and if you’re listening right now and you’ve heard that speaking skills could help your visibility and help you sell more of your courses and help you become the go-to expert in your niche, but you’ve been wondering how do you quantify these nebulous speaking skills and master them? Well, you’re going to like this episode and the next episode. I’m here with Lorianne and she is a speaking and visibility coach, as she says, a reformed, painfully shy gal who accidentally became a professional speaker. She works with coaches and consultants to write and deliver captivating presentations to establish credibility, attract ideal clients and monetize their authority. She combines her years as an award-winning professional speaker, executive leadership coach and her obsession with neuroscience. I like that. Lorianne is the best-selling author of Rethink Leadership and Rethink your Leadership and the host of the Be In Demand podcast. A few of her clients, the notable ones, are Johnson Johnson, the American Cancer Society, bali Mastermind and I saw on your website the US Army.
Speaker 2:
Yes, thank you. Thank you. I have worked with the military and the Air Force. Yeah yeah, they are a lot of fun. Especially as they’re approaching retirement, it’s like what am I going to do for the next half of my life? Yeah, yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3:
That’s a long time.
Speaker 2:
And that is a true story that I am a reformed, painfully shy girl who couldn’t even make eye contact with people.
Speaker 1:
It’s hard to believe now, but that was once upon a time in my life. Okay, let’s go into that then, because in a moment, I’ll ask you to share a snapshot of your business as it is today, in the beginning of 2025.flower, when I even was lucky enough to be invited to parties. Quite shy, I didn’t know how to have a conversation or be engaging. So how did you reform yourself as a painfully shy girl?
Speaker 2:
So I would say it was late in my teens, Just like yourself, a little bit more of a wallflower. My family did move overseas for a couple of years we’re not a military family and this was back in the day when it really wasn’t a cool thing to do. It was just like why are you moving to Japan, Okay? And so came back and I remember.
Speaker 2:
So I was at work and I’m watching my friends like we’re in a break room and I’m watching the way that they engage with people and also the way that they engage with customers, and I literally had this epiphany like this behavior of not making eye contact is not going to serve me in the long run. I have got to learn how to look people in the eye and have a conversation. So I literally just dared myself if you will look at somebody while they’re talking, look at somebody while I’m speaking, even just for a few seconds, and then I could look away. And so I did that, and here’s what I noticed the earth did not open up and swallow me whole, and the person that I was talking to didn’t laugh at me, and so that was all the positive reinforcement that I needed. I was just like okay, let me see if I can do it a little bit longer next time. And that’s all that I did.
Speaker 1:
Wow, you yourself had the epiphany to look people in the eye. I don’t do that, yeah.
Speaker 2:
Download, you know. But also it was the observing other people. So there was obviously this desire of I want to be like that.
Speaker 3:
So they were my role models. Mm-hmm Wow. Okay, you sort of have this deep-seated fear beneath that that like if I look people in the eye then they’re going to make fun of me, they’re going to not like me or reject me.
Speaker 2:
You know. So I do have this shy streak. I just want people to know. This shy streak still shows up from time to time, but I at least have the awareness now where I can just be like, okay, go away, Like I got, I’m safe. You know you’re not protecting me from anything, Because that’s probably some five-year-old that just kind of like surfaces once in a while.
Speaker 1:
Gotcha, gotcha. No. It really does help, though, to be outgoing and meet people, even if, like we’re on the extrovert side of the spectrum. My high school experience was miserable because I didn’t know how to talk to people.
Speaker 3:
And you kind of did the same thing, though too right. You sort of just decided all by yourself like when I get to college I’m going to be friendly right, like I’m going to have friends. Didn’t you sort of decide that I?
Speaker 1:
did decide, but it was because I broke down in I think it was my last year in high school and I asked my mom, who is pretty friendly, like how I can have friends? And she’s like you can have friends just by smiling and meeting people. And yeah, I did make a conscious decision to when I went to college. It’s like I’m just going to meet people and I went a little overboard, like I remember freshman year in the dorms as soon as I got there.
Speaker 1:
I would just hang out in a cafeteria and it was nice to eat multiple meals, but really like, what I would do is I would just sit down with like a new table of folks and then, like when they got eating, I would just go to another table of people and hang out and make brand new friends. And I remember like discovering all the intriguing people that you can meet when you go to a university. Coming from high school, and I remember like meeting these two girls and they had like leopard print everything in their dorm room and so like I was intrigued because it was like you know, know leopard, literally everything from the pillowcases to the bedsheets to whatever you call those like thin, like plastic laminate covers that you could put on like your windowsill. I don’t know what they’re, what they’re called, but it was yeah it was great.
Speaker 1:
it was great. So what I started doing is um taking people on tours to their bedroom, and so they were happy because they were famous, and I would just use that as kind of like the icebreaker if the conversation just kind of went quiet at the table in the dining hall or in the cafeteria. Hey, I met these two girls and they’re really cool, let’s go see their room. And so that was the beginning of me being popular in college.
Speaker 2:
See, I think we just find our way of doing that, like I now have, like, literally taught my nervous system. I walk into a networking event or a conference and I don’t wait for somebody to turn to me and extend their hand. I’m going to be the one that sits at the table and starts and starts up a conversation like hi, what compelled you to join this breakout session? I’m Laurieann. It’s a little more automatic now for me, thank goodness.
Speaker 1:
Well, we need people like you because I think most of us, even the most outgoing, most trained socialites, we all can experience that bit of intimidation and that tendency to be quiet when we’re in a new room.
Speaker 3:
Right, yes, right.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so why don’t you give?
Speaker 3:
us a snapshot of your business as it is today.
Speaker 2:
As it is today, so I will take you back to 2017, which was excuse me, which was a time when I was actually doing a lot of leadership, speaking. Literally. Coming home, you know, like from a trip, wash the clothes, throw them back in the suitcase, because I was picking up that suitcase and getting on another flight the next day. Something happened in Fort Lauderdale that most people don’t remember. So here I was a leadership speaker, executive coach, and you know, here in the United States where you’re allowed to travel with your firearms if you want to, and yet, if you have the right paperwork, and yes, you can if you have the oh, you know, your checked baggage, Checked baggage, so you can’t have some sort of a gun, you know in the carrier by your seat.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, okay, just sitting right next to your airplane, nuts you know and your airplane cookies.
Speaker 2:
Okay, yes, oh my gosh so baggage claim is out of TSA’s jurisdiction. So baggage claim is out of TSA’s jurisdiction. So the gentleman who was traveling with his firearm and proper paperwork grabbed his bag, went into the men’s room, put his semi-automatic rifle together and came out shooting. Now the FAA literally like runs aviation globally. So every plane that was in the air landed at the nearest airport. Thank goodness he only killed two people. I say thank goodness because I’m sure it could have been a whole lot more and I can’t remember how many people were injured, but just every flight came to a screeching halt because they were afraid of a copycat. Where else was this going to happen globally? And I remember saying, oh my God, I mean like I was traveling a lot, my husband was traveling a lot and I just said, universe, I need a new business model.
Speaker 2:
Two weeks later I got a text message from somebody that said Lorianne, do you write speeches for people? And I was like, well, no, but because I knew who she was, I was like, oh, I’ll help you. And like most of us entrepreneurs I’m giving you the abbreviated story here I fell in love with it. She knocked it out of the park with her first presentation and it completely changed her business. So I was like oh, I wonder if anybody else wants to know what I know, which brought me into the online world, which I got to say is a whole new set of rules, you know, and this is 2017. And so I fumbled my way in the online world because I didn’t understand what the rules were world. Because I didn’t understand what the rules were. I knew what they were for public speaking and getting booked for conferences and working with companies that I’ve worked with some pretty big companies. That’s what brought me here, wow.
Speaker 1:
And I will, yeah, go ahead. No, I was wanting to know about this gun story. Was that at the airport that you were at, or you? Were on another flight that was grounded.
Speaker 2:
No, I was actually at home, okay, but I’d been doing a lot Like I was probably leaving the very next day and I think my husband was away. So there I was like on the cell phone trying to contact him was away, so there I was like on the cell phone trying to contact him. And I’ve only experienced a busy signal on a cell phone one other time, and that was 9-11.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, 9-11 would do it.
Speaker 2:
So I got a busy signal so I couldn’t get a hold of him, but I believe that he wasn’t anywhere in Florida. So yeah, thank you for the clarification. Yeah, I was not in Fort Lauderdale. I wasn’t at that airport. It just impacted me so deeply.
Speaker 3:
Right right.
Speaker 1:
Naturally.
Speaker 3:
So you started helping people write speeches. Did you just reach out to people that you already knew and you’re kind of in your circle, or how did it really get formulated? Good, question.
Speaker 2:
So with I decided that I couldn’t write the speech for her, because there’s parts of writing a speech that I mean like the reason why my stories resonate with the audience is because I’m telling it from my point of view. So I shared with her this is how you write a speech, and we wrote it together. But she did the writing so that now she doesn’t have to memorize something that I wrote. So I taught her how to, like you know, like these are the components that make a really good speech. This is what you say, so that the people in your audience, like they, stay engaged and we can dive into that if you want.
Speaker 1:
But oh, we are on the next episode.
Speaker 2:
Oh, we are Don’t you worry, like there’s an art. There’s just an art, like I call it, like a speech is verbal art. That’s what it is. It is just crafting stories and really impacting your audience and getting them to lean in, you know, and then like, what do you do when they lean back? And like your pace, your tone, I mean like there’s just, there’s just a lot to it, right, and I had so much fun teaching her this and she was she. She is a stylist. She went from a government job. She was just waiting three more years to retire and this was going to be her. Being a stylist was going to become her retirement gig and you know, like when you’re three, three years away from retiring at a government job, she’s like you’ll stand on your head for three years. But she finished out her three years and, yeah, she went into becoming a stylist.
Speaker 1:
So I’m going to say, dear listener, like what we’re talking about, and before we hit record, one thing that is on my heart is like we want to become the in-demand go-to person in our niche, like, right, jamie, and I feel like when we get a chance to learn more from somebody who specializes in speaking skills, we immediately think, oh, but I’m not going to speak on a stage.
Speaker 1:
Or I would love to speak on a stage, but that would require finding an event and then pitching lots of events, because, and then how do I actually, you know, introduce myself or sell myself to get accepted in the roster at an event and, oh my gosh, those other speakers. And then we just put it off and we think that that’s the only place where these speaking skills will apply. And Lorianne is shaking her head no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So that’s all I’m going to say is, in the next episode we are going to talk specifically about redefining a stage, and the stage that you speak on is not just a physical stage, it’s actually. We all are doing it day in and day out in our content, and Lorianne’s going to give us a bunch of tips, right, lorianne?
Speaker 3:
Yes, I am.
Speaker 1:
Very, very cool. I still want to know what your business looks like right now. But before that I will say one more thing to the listener, which is down in the show notes. Below there is a link. The show notes below there is a link. It is speakandstandoutcom. Speakandstandoutcom forward slash guide. And if you want to figure out how to get started in speaking, to grow your podcast or exactly what to say right here for more bookings, clients and opportunities than, in addition, to like how to feel like a pro, even if you’ve never stepped on stage before and we just said, stage is not just a physical stage, it’s video, it’s YouTube, it’s Instagram, it’s TikTok Then head down to that link and grab that guide and you’ll be well on your way. So, snapshot of your business now, lorianne.
Speaker 2:
Snapshot now is so I started off mostly just doing one-on-one work because I came into the online world, I was an executive coach. That’s all that I knew. I’d never done a group program. So today my business looks like a group program that I run that’s called In Demand Signature Speech, and also working with clients privately, and I am just trying for the first time an evergreen do-it-yourself In Demand Signature Speech, and I have my first person who just purchased that, and so the feedback that I’m getting is she’s really enjoying it, she’s taking the baby steps. So that’s what my business looks like now, compared to 2017. When I came into this, it was just one-on-one work.
Speaker 1:
Gotcha.
Speaker 3:
Okay.
Speaker 1:
An evergreen in-demand program. What’s the title of that?
Speaker 2:
It’s a start anytime in demand signature speech.
Speaker 1:
Start anytime in demand. Signature speech. Can you break down this concept of a signature speech? I feel like I should know, but I’ll listen to your words.
Speaker 2:
That’s okay. This is how I teach people to write a speech, and it’s to take your audience through the neuroscience that they’re experiencing while they’re sitting in your audience. And your audience can be in person or virtual, or even if they’re just watching you a video, so you need to capture their attention. We have to give our audience a reason to put their phone down or to ignore that bing that goes off. So we capture their attention and what happens with your audience is they lean in because they want to know more. But what happens next?
Speaker 3:
Thank you, we’re leaning in. We’re leaning in.
Speaker 2:
And then what happens is your audience, and I don’t want to get too far away from my microphone, but they lean back and they start to cross their arms and what’s going through their heads is but why should I listen to you? So I call this next block, your authority section. It’s a very, it’s conversational, it’s not a boring resume. You know that you’re reading off to them. And here’s all my my accomplishments, folks. And this is why, like, we need to give the audience like, oh, like Laurie is a reformed, painfully shy girl and then she’s got like 25 years of speaking experience, like that gives the audience a reason to continue to listen to the end. Okay. And then you have what I call the meat of your presentation. It’s like the meat of the sandwich, okay.
Speaker 2:
And you are allowed, in a one hour presentation, you are allowed to share three tips. Oh, three, just three Sounds like so few. The human brain just loves three, by the way. So with those three tips, I tell my students and my clients, you become a lawyer now. You now have to defend that tip, that point. So think of it as a three-legged table. If you take one of those legs out, that table is just going to fall over. So three data points. So those data points can be a case study, a metaphor, research. You’re talking about a client’s story, three pieces of information that people like, oh okay, get it, and then you would move on. You do the exact same thing for your next point and your next point.
Speaker 2:
And then you segue beautifully into your call to action and so I might say something like and this is what I typically do say there is no way that I could share with you 25 years of speaking experience in 50 minutes. So what I have for you, I have a special gift for you, and what happens is because I’ve already built that know, like and trust and given them really good information, really valuable information, the people that are ready for this are going to raise their hand and say yes and they’re going to grab whatever that call to action is, whether it’s to book, a call to download something, et cetera. And then you have a beautiful close where you just basically wrap your beautiful presentation, up in a beautiful bow, and ta-da, ta-da.
Speaker 1:
You make it sound so straightforward.
Speaker 3:
Right, it is pretty straightforward yeah.
Speaker 1:
No, my mind just jumped on the okay how to grab their attention right in the beginning and then the authority section, like why listen to me? And then only three things, three in a one hour presentation in a one hour presentation.
Speaker 2:
Now, the shorter the presentation, you might only be able to do two with three pieces of data. Or, again, it depends on, like, how long you’re speaking for, or you might only be able to give two pieces of data. Yes, the tabletop might fall over, but that’s because you’re speaking for a shorter period of time.
Speaker 3:
Well, I think of like our pastor every sunday, like his messages and stuff. There’s, I mean, it’s what, 30, maybe 40 minutes okay, yeah, I’m preaching and so, but there’s always three points, right, no more, usually, not less, it’s always, it’s always three. So, and there’s usually, like you know, the story or engaging part, and yeah, so that makes sense that make?
Speaker 1:
well, it makes partial sense to me because it’s we’re in mexico and so he’s preaching in spanish, but for the most part, yeah, no, I can follow but even, yeah, like other pastors and stuff, I feel like usually it’s always three points because you’re right, that’s all our brain can really handle, our brain love.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I gotta explain why. Three for everybody who’s listening. Yeah, break that down.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and because I share this with with my clients also in their proposals to work like basically like to do a consulting, or even if you’re speaking for a company. It’s like here are the three different options. And reason is, if I only gave you one option, you’d be like not sure I like that, but there’s like, but there’s nothing else, there’s no other item. It’d be like going to a restaurant and here’s the one thing that we make. This is it, you want it or not? No, so now, when there’s two options, the human brain says I don’t really like that, but I only have that as an option. But when you have three, I don’t like that, but ooh, I have a choice because there’s two more. Which one do I like better?
Speaker 2:
It works really really well in a proposal for some sort of a conference that you might be keynoting. It might be I’m just going to speak for that one hour. Number two can be I’m going to speak for that one hour and I’ll even speak on day two for 30 or 40 minutes. And your third option could be I will do everything in option number two, plus I’ll coach some of your top people, and so it changes in pricing also. Here’s what the bare minimum that I’m going to leave the house for and not feel like I’m being gypped.
Speaker 2:
Number two is what I really really want to do for this organization, and number three is for those VIPs, because people are people who normally, like CEOs, might be VIPs and like, yeah, I want to go with that option and give my top people some extra coaching.
Speaker 3:
Gotcha Okay, there we go. That makes coaching Gotcha Okay.
Speaker 1:
There we go.
Speaker 3:
That makes sense, good yeah.
Speaker 1:
We’re going to say goodbye and jump into the next episode so that we selfishly ourselves and the listener though and the listener can hear these tips about how to speak and become the go-to person in our niche and in their niche and your niche.
Speaker 3:
Get into that meat. I personally can’t wait.
Speaker 1:
What’s the one thing you would leave the listener with right now to whet their appetite for the next episode there?
Speaker 2:
is so much opportunity for you to be speaking and getting in front of a live or virtual audience that is filled with your ideal clients, you just don’t know where to look.
Speaker 3:
All right.
Speaker 1:
Where to look. I saw that you have something to do with where to look on your website. I glad you did that.
Speaker 2:
It’s a directory of places to speak and actually, if your audience does download the guide, the speakandstandoutcom forward slash guide I actually have a list of all the other downloads that people can get, and the directory happens to be one of them.
Speaker 1:
Okay.
Speaker 3:
Well, that sounds helpful. Let’s do this.
Speaker 1:
Let’s do it. Thanks for recording with us for this episode.
Speaker 3:
Thank you, lorianne, welcome.
Speaker 1:
All right, listener, this is your sign If you feel like 2025 or whenever you’re listening to this episode in the future and you’re like I need to speak more. I want to be the go-to person in my niche. Get the guide and also in the show notes. Below is a link to the next episode with Lorianne, and you will be learning those very, very tangible. We can apply them right now or you can apply them right away tips to help how you come across in video and on stages, if you’re lucky enough to be there already. Till the next time you see me or hear from Jamie, take care, be blessed, we’ll see you in the next one.
Speaker 3:
Bye.
